Saturday, May 16, 2009
Thoughts on the eve of a college graduation
Singing along to: Lisa Hannigan, Sea Song
Once I was able to disassociate my ambivalence about graduation from my graduation cap & gown & hood, I was able to have a whole lot of fun playing dress up. Turns out it's the best costume I've put on in years. Depending on how I accessorize (and how I decide to wear the hood), I can be Harry Potter or Emperor Palpatine or even a serious academic. (Okay, I admit, the last one is a stretch.) I could also, if I so chose, jump out of an airplane in my gown and parachute down to safety, because it is just that huge. It's nearly ankle-length (and I'm 5'8"!) and it definitely conceals the Senior Week Fifteen (like the freshmen fifteen, except four years later and the result of infinitely more mixed emotions and [at least in my case] beer).
***
Speaking of accessorizing, I am sort of regretting my choices in graduation footwear. Today was solid: moderately trashy cork-heeled shoes from Payless (complete with a red cherry pattern on the foot bed). Obviously the perfect choice for dignified events like Phi Beta Kappa initiation, Honors Convocation, and Baccalaureate Mass. Tomorrow, though, I'm just wearing some nondescript brown heeled sandals. Sure, they work with my (adorable!) dress, but with the black polyester pillowcase I'll be wearing for most of the day, they are totally blah. Comfortable, versatile, and boring. This would have been the perfect occasion for red shoes, and somehow I didn't realize that until right now. I'm slipping.
***
Speaking of shoes (again), I think I earned some sort of girl-power award today: I helped move a fridge out of a third-floor dorm room in three-and-a-half-inch heels and a skirt. I did make my brother go down the stairs backwards instead of me, but still: win.
***
I've always thought taking down posters is the most depressing part of packing up a dorm room, because stuff on the walls is what makes a room (or in my case, a trailer) look like people actually live there. Well, it's doubly depressing when iTunes spins up the Beatles' In My Life. Somehow that ended up on the graduation party playlist I'm crafting, and I'm not really sure how. I guess I must have added it, but I've been trying really hard to put on music that a) I like, b) won't offend the party guests, and (most importantly) c) is not about moving on and saying goodbye and looking back on happy memories blah blah blah I DON'T WANT TO CRY ABOUT THIS, ITUNES, SO QUIT TRYING TO MANIPULATE MY EMOTIONS. In other words, I might want to take In My Life off the list.
***
The other night I was very tired but staying up with friends anyway. So I sat on their couch with my eyes closed and mentally added "in bed" or "that's what she said" to the end of everything they said. It was pretty hilarious, and I think I'm going to use that same trick to keep myself amused during the "commencement exercises" tomorrow.
***
When I graduated from high school, I made a point of wearing waterproof mascara, because I was sure I would cry. Turns out I was so done by then that I didn't shed a tear, even as my classmates sobbed around me. I just made a weird face when I got my diploma. This time around, I'm not feeling nearly as done, so I'm breaking out the waterproof mascara again as a sort of insurance policy against crying, ie, I probably won't if I wear it. Mostly, I'm counting on my intense distaste for ceremonies, crowds, and folding chairs in the hot sun to get me too pissed off to cry. We'll see how that goes.
***
Everyone's graduation-related Facebook statuses make me want to puke.
Once I was able to disassociate my ambivalence about graduation from my graduation cap & gown & hood, I was able to have a whole lot of fun playing dress up. Turns out it's the best costume I've put on in years. Depending on how I accessorize (and how I decide to wear the hood), I can be Harry Potter or Emperor Palpatine or even a serious academic. (Okay, I admit, the last one is a stretch.) I could also, if I so chose, jump out of an airplane in my gown and parachute down to safety, because it is just that huge. It's nearly ankle-length (and I'm 5'8"!) and it definitely conceals the Senior Week Fifteen (like the freshmen fifteen, except four years later and the result of infinitely more mixed emotions and [at least in my case] beer).
***
Speaking of accessorizing, I am sort of regretting my choices in graduation footwear. Today was solid: moderately trashy cork-heeled shoes from Payless (complete with a red cherry pattern on the foot bed). Obviously the perfect choice for dignified events like Phi Beta Kappa initiation, Honors Convocation, and Baccalaureate Mass. Tomorrow, though, I'm just wearing some nondescript brown heeled sandals. Sure, they work with my (adorable!) dress, but with the black polyester pillowcase I'll be wearing for most of the day, they are totally blah. Comfortable, versatile, and boring. This would have been the perfect occasion for red shoes, and somehow I didn't realize that until right now. I'm slipping.
***
Speaking of shoes (again), I think I earned some sort of girl-power award today: I helped move a fridge out of a third-floor dorm room in three-and-a-half-inch heels and a skirt. I did make my brother go down the stairs backwards instead of me, but still: win.
***
I've always thought taking down posters is the most depressing part of packing up a dorm room, because stuff on the walls is what makes a room (or in my case, a trailer) look like people actually live there. Well, it's doubly depressing when iTunes spins up the Beatles' In My Life. Somehow that ended up on the graduation party playlist I'm crafting, and I'm not really sure how. I guess I must have added it, but I've been trying really hard to put on music that a) I like, b) won't offend the party guests, and (most importantly) c) is not about moving on and saying goodbye and looking back on happy memories blah blah blah I DON'T WANT TO CRY ABOUT THIS, ITUNES, SO QUIT TRYING TO MANIPULATE MY EMOTIONS. In other words, I might want to take In My Life off the list.
***
The other night I was very tired but staying up with friends anyway. So I sat on their couch with my eyes closed and mentally added "in bed" or "that's what she said" to the end of everything they said. It was pretty hilarious, and I think I'm going to use that same trick to keep myself amused during the "commencement exercises" tomorrow.
***
When I graduated from high school, I made a point of wearing waterproof mascara, because I was sure I would cry. Turns out I was so done by then that I didn't shed a tear, even as my classmates sobbed around me. I just made a weird face when I got my diploma. This time around, I'm not feeling nearly as done, so I'm breaking out the waterproof mascara again as a sort of insurance policy against crying, ie, I probably won't if I wear it. Mostly, I'm counting on my intense distaste for ceremonies, crowds, and folding chairs in the hot sun to get me too pissed off to cry. We'll see how that goes.
***
Everyone's graduation-related Facebook statuses make me want to puke.
Labels: College, Notes and Asides
Tuesday, May 05, 2009
Conversations with my roommate
Singing along to: Slumdog Millionaire
I walked in triumphantly, having just completed the last final exam of my undergraduate career.
"I just finished my last final," I declared. "I want to celebrate. I'm going to do something that I don't usually do."
"Drink?" my roommate asked.
"No," I said. "Get takeout!"
And I did. I got honey bbq wings. And they were delicious.
***
Honestly, the sense of freedom that's gradually settling over me is amazing, and something I'll probably write more about later. It's also an illusion, but I'm trying not to think about that now. I guess I just did too good of a job bribing myself with visions of sloth over the past few weeks, which contained more late nights in a short period of time than in the rest of my college career combined.
I walked in triumphantly, having just completed the last final exam of my undergraduate career.
"I just finished my last final," I declared. "I want to celebrate. I'm going to do something that I don't usually do."
"Drink?" my roommate asked.
"No," I said. "Get takeout!"
And I did. I got honey bbq wings. And they were delicious.
***
Honestly, the sense of freedom that's gradually settling over me is amazing, and something I'll probably write more about later. It's also an illusion, but I'm trying not to think about that now. I guess I just did too good of a job bribing myself with visions of sloth over the past few weeks, which contained more late nights in a short period of time than in the rest of my college career combined.
Labels: College
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
I should have written my thesis on list-making
Singing along to: Red Hot Chili Peppers, Aeroplane
Things I would rather do than finish my thesis:
Things I have already done today to avoid writing my thesis:
Things I would rather do than finish my thesis:
- Clean the bathroom.
- Make a summer rock and roll playlist on iTunes.
- Go to the residence hall office and get some toilet paper.
- Wash dishes.
- Re-fold all of the clothes in my dresser.
- Play on the tire swing that appeared in a tree outside a nearby classroom building. Sure, it would probably end in death and/or paralysis, but it would get me out of doing my thesis, right?
Things I have already done today to avoid writing my thesis:
- Go to the RHO to get toilet paper (turns out it didn't open till 1:00 today).
- Walk to 7-11 to get a gallon of milk.
- Go to the gym.
- Take out the trash.
- Read a long geek-speak article about how a large and dedicated group of Internet geeks hacked Time's most-influential people poll.
- Hang out with James after he got off work.
The million-dollar question
Singing along to: Iron & Wine w/ Calexico, Dark Eyes. From the I'm Not There soundtrack.
One of my classmates just asked me if I've figured out my future yet. This question, by now, is annoying no matter who it comes from, but it's especially galling from someone who has, in fact, figured out her future yet. She's been accepted into her first choice law school, and while I am genuinely happy for her (no, really, I am), it makes her question a lot less sympathetic than it would be coming from someone else.
Yes, I know, she probably didn't mean to rub anything in my face.
But I next time I'm telling her that I've gotten a job as an exotic dancer.
One of my classmates just asked me if I've figured out my future yet. This question, by now, is annoying no matter who it comes from, but it's especially galling from someone who has, in fact, figured out her future yet. She's been accepted into her first choice law school, and while I am genuinely happy for her (no, really, I am), it makes her question a lot less sympathetic than it would be coming from someone else.
Yes, I know, she probably didn't mean to rub anything in my face.
But I next time I'm telling her that I've gotten a job as an exotic dancer.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
An update on my thesis
Singing along to: Iron & Wine, Resurrection Fern
I like to say that I am drowning in my thesis. This is actually an (unintentionally) appropriate metaphor, since my thesis is all about the meaning of the sea in Old English poetry.* I have about sixteen pages written, out of the thirty-ish I need to turn in. The problem with this is that while I am halfway done in terms of page count, I am about two-thirds done in terms of "things I need to talk about." Which means I will probably feel as though I've said everything I want to say around page 25, but with some creative stretching and padding might make it to page 27, while my adviser continues to talk about 30-35 pages. I don't think she realizes that I'm having this problem, and she has said she dislikes "fluff," so hopefully the finished product will be such a shining example of Strunk & White's Rule 17** that she'll sign off on 27 pages or whatever I actually produce.
On the bright side, while I hate writing my thesis, I still don't hate my thesis, precisely. The topic is kind of lame, and totally obvious if you read the poems (wow. they talk about the ocean. a lot.), and the secondary sources are a pain in the butt, but at least I still love the poetry. Here are my two favorites:
The Wanderer: five minutes of searching didn't turn up a poetic translation that I liked, but this prose translation by Robert E. Diamond is pretty good. (Here it is in Old English if you're fancy. I'm not fancy.***) PS: If you know your Tolkien, you might find some familiar words here.
The Seafarer: Modern English translation by Jonathan A. Glenn; original Old English.
*Does that sound as fascinating to you as it does to me? Probably not, since even I don't find it all that fascinating.
**"Omit needless words."
***I cannot actually read Old English, a fact both my adviser and I sort of forgot when we decided on a topic that requires an analysis of the poets' (not the translators') word-choice. Thank goodness for side-by-side Old English/Modern English editions and the Bosworth-Toller Anglo-Saxon dictionary, even if it using it will probably make me blind.
I like to say that I am drowning in my thesis. This is actually an (unintentionally) appropriate metaphor, since my thesis is all about the meaning of the sea in Old English poetry.* I have about sixteen pages written, out of the thirty-ish I need to turn in. The problem with this is that while I am halfway done in terms of page count, I am about two-thirds done in terms of "things I need to talk about." Which means I will probably feel as though I've said everything I want to say around page 25, but with some creative stretching and padding might make it to page 27, while my adviser continues to talk about 30-35 pages. I don't think she realizes that I'm having this problem, and she has said she dislikes "fluff," so hopefully the finished product will be such a shining example of Strunk & White's Rule 17** that she'll sign off on 27 pages or whatever I actually produce.
On the bright side, while I hate writing my thesis, I still don't hate my thesis, precisely. The topic is kind of lame, and totally obvious if you read the poems (wow. they talk about the ocean. a lot.), and the secondary sources are a pain in the butt, but at least I still love the poetry. Here are my two favorites:
The Wanderer: five minutes of searching didn't turn up a poetic translation that I liked, but this prose translation by Robert E. Diamond is pretty good. (Here it is in Old English if you're fancy. I'm not fancy.***) PS: If you know your Tolkien, you might find some familiar words here.
The Seafarer: Modern English translation by Jonathan A. Glenn; original Old English.
*Does that sound as fascinating to you as it does to me? Probably not, since even I don't find it all that fascinating.
**"Omit needless words."
***I cannot actually read Old English, a fact both my adviser and I sort of forgot when we decided on a topic that requires an analysis of the poets' (not the translators') word-choice. Thank goodness for side-by-side Old English/Modern English editions and the Bosworth-Toller Anglo-Saxon dictionary, even if it using it will probably make me blind.
Labels: College
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
True confessions of a prodigal undergrad
Singing along to: Simon & Garfunkel, Fakin' It
I've spent the entire semester so far hiding from my thesis adviser. This is easier said than done, as I'm taking a twice-weekly class with her, and she lives in the building in which I work. Unfortunately, she cottoned on to my scheme a couple weeks ago, and today I finally dragged myself to her office to discuss the the progress I've made since we met in December.
I have actually made negative progress since that meeting, since I seem to have lost the preliminary bibliography I made months ago. Oops? Luckily it was easy to reconstruct, since I still have all the books on my shelf, where they guilt-trip me every time I sit down to watch Bridezillas. I've gone so far as to put little post-it flags in the relevant passages of some of the books, and I do have ten or so pages on roughly the same topic as my thesis from a paper I wrote last semester.
The above paragraphs explain why I'm frankly surprised that my thesis adviser didn't rip me a new one this afternoon, although we did settle on a brutal writing schedule that will, with luck and a lot of hard work, have mechurning out lovingly crafting thirty-five pages of erudite scholarship on "the meanings of the sea in Old English poetry" by... May 4?
I know. I know. The next four weeks will be so awesome that I am jealous of myself.
I've spent the entire semester so far hiding from my thesis adviser. This is easier said than done, as I'm taking a twice-weekly class with her, and she lives in the building in which I work. Unfortunately, she cottoned on to my scheme a couple weeks ago, and today I finally dragged myself to her office to discuss the the progress I've made since we met in December.
I have actually made negative progress since that meeting, since I seem to have lost the preliminary bibliography I made months ago. Oops? Luckily it was easy to reconstruct, since I still have all the books on my shelf, where they guilt-trip me every time I sit down to watch Bridezillas. I've gone so far as to put little post-it flags in the relevant passages of some of the books, and I do have ten or so pages on roughly the same topic as my thesis from a paper I wrote last semester.
The above paragraphs explain why I'm frankly surprised that my thesis adviser didn't rip me a new one this afternoon, although we did settle on a brutal writing schedule that will, with luck and a lot of hard work, have me
I know. I know. The next four weeks will be so awesome that I am jealous of myself.
Labels: College
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Several great ideas
Singing along to: Once soundtrack, Gold
I have a number of great ideas that I've been meaning to share with the Internet, in the hopes that someone more well-connected/more motivated than I will steal them and implement them. Such as:
A cookie dough candy bar. The inspiration for this came from the cookie dough Balance Bars I occasionally have in lieu of lunch. Here's the thing: there aren't any practical, dignified options for people who like cookie dough. Sure, you can eat it straight out of the Pillsbury tube, and that's delicious, but it also screams "romantic comedy, right after the Hot Jerk breaks the Girl-Next-Door Heroine's heart and makes her doubt her faith in humanity, so she washes down the bitterness with cookie dough, her Sassy Minority Girlfriend, and Casablanca, while we all yell at her to just get with the Hot Hero already so we can live vicariously through their bliss while we too scarf down raw cookie dough." Even when you're happy with your life, it's hard not to feel a little pathetic when you eat cookie dough like that.
The other cookie dough option is cookie dough ice cream, which is delicious, but not so great to stick in your tote bag for a mid-afternoon pick-me-up. Which is where my candy bar idea comes in: chocolate coating, layer of crispy cookie (like in a Kit-Kat), layer of cookie dough. Seriously, with the right name, this thing would market itself.
***
Attaching the same song to multiple albums in iTunes. It has always annoyed me that, as far as I know, iTunes requires that I either have multiple copies of the same song, or incomplete albums. Both options irritate my inner librarian. Look, it should not be that hard to tell iTunes that, for example, "Where the Streets Have No Name" belongs on Joshua Tree and Best of 1980 - 1990, and to have it remember which track it is on which album. If I can remember these things, why can't a computer program? I want to be able to listen to a complete album (in the correct order, obviously), but I also don't want two or three copies of the same song on my "All U2, All the Time" smart playlist. (Can I tell you how much I love iTunes' smart playlist feature? So much!) I can't be the only one who feels this way, so make it happen, iTunes!
[Now, it's possible that iTunes already has this feature and I haven't found it yet, or that it's in the new version of iTunes that I haven't bothered downloading yet. If this is the case, I would love to know. It is also possible--probable, even--that there is some other music player software out there that has this feature and many others, and it is so much better than iTunes and everyone who listens to music should use it. Fine, but I'm not interested in new software right now.]
***
My great ideas, once I lay them out like that, are not very impressive. Nevertheless, I like them, so get cracking, Internet! Steal them! Make them happen! You don't even need to give me credit, although I would appreciate a free case of those candy bars, once they hit stores.
I have a number of great ideas that I've been meaning to share with the Internet, in the hopes that someone more well-connected/more motivated than I will steal them and implement them. Such as:
A cookie dough candy bar. The inspiration for this came from the cookie dough Balance Bars I occasionally have in lieu of lunch. Here's the thing: there aren't any practical, dignified options for people who like cookie dough. Sure, you can eat it straight out of the Pillsbury tube, and that's delicious, but it also screams "romantic comedy, right after the Hot Jerk breaks the Girl-Next-Door Heroine's heart and makes her doubt her faith in humanity, so she washes down the bitterness with cookie dough, her Sassy Minority Girlfriend, and Casablanca, while we all yell at her to just get with the Hot Hero already so we can live vicariously through their bliss while we too scarf down raw cookie dough." Even when you're happy with your life, it's hard not to feel a little pathetic when you eat cookie dough like that.
The other cookie dough option is cookie dough ice cream, which is delicious, but not so great to stick in your tote bag for a mid-afternoon pick-me-up. Which is where my candy bar idea comes in: chocolate coating, layer of crispy cookie (like in a Kit-Kat), layer of cookie dough. Seriously, with the right name, this thing would market itself.
***
Attaching the same song to multiple albums in iTunes. It has always annoyed me that, as far as I know, iTunes requires that I either have multiple copies of the same song, or incomplete albums. Both options irritate my inner librarian. Look, it should not be that hard to tell iTunes that, for example, "Where the Streets Have No Name" belongs on Joshua Tree and Best of 1980 - 1990, and to have it remember which track it is on which album. If I can remember these things, why can't a computer program? I want to be able to listen to a complete album (in the correct order, obviously), but I also don't want two or three copies of the same song on my "All U2, All the Time" smart playlist. (Can I tell you how much I love iTunes' smart playlist feature? So much!) I can't be the only one who feels this way, so make it happen, iTunes!
[Now, it's possible that iTunes already has this feature and I haven't found it yet, or that it's in the new version of iTunes that I haven't bothered downloading yet. If this is the case, I would love to know. It is also possible--probable, even--that there is some other music player software out there that has this feature and many others, and it is so much better than iTunes and everyone who listens to music should use it. Fine, but I'm not interested in new software right now.]
***
My great ideas, once I lay them out like that, are not very impressive. Nevertheless, I like them, so get cracking, Internet! Steal them! Make them happen! You don't even need to give me credit, although I would appreciate a free case of those candy bars, once they hit stores.
Thursday, March 19, 2009
A Shameful List:
Singing along to: Blink-182, What's My Age Again?
*Did I just make up that word? I think I did!
Activities that make me grateful I do not keep a swear jar, although they make me think I probably should:
- Cooking. I kind of like cooking. I am even reasonably okay at cooking sometimes. (Ask me about the Irish cream pound cake I made for St. Patrick's Day! Or my awesome homemade tomato soup!) But damn does it involve a lot of stress and mess.
- Job applications. Especially job applications that use USA Jobs and/or the federal government's application manager website. In fact, I'm trying to applying for a job right there now. Key word is "trying": this is easier said than done. For one thing, this questionnaire makes me look far more incompetent than I (think I) actually am. For another, I think the application instructions were written by a professional obfuscator.* Hell, the fact that the application even requires instructions is a bad sign.
- Getting in and out of bed every day. This is not (quite) as ridiculous as it seems. See, I'm sleeping in a bunk bed for the first time in my life, and I'm on the top bunk. And the combo of high foot board + low ceiling = bruises and pain getting into bed. In the mornings I just sort of tumble down trying to get to my alarm clock, and that's painful too. Okay, no, you're right. It's still a pretty ridiculous reason to break out the seven dirty words you can't say on television.
- Navigating New Facebook. I know, I know, I complain about Facebook, like all the other lemmings, but (also like all the other lemmings) I can't quite seem to break free from the pack that's stampeding toward the cliff side. Okay, that cliched metaphor broke down fast, but you get my drift. New Facebook is annoying and I don't quite know how it works anymore, or how to get all these people's stupid quiz results out of my stupid news feed (which used to be New Facebook but is now Old Facebook, I guess), and... yeah. Swear words! That's where I was going with this. Damn.
*Did I just make up that word? I think I did!
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