Confessions of a Chronic Dork

Singing along to: Dashboard Confessional, Hands Down

I think we all have a list of things we believe the universe would be better off without, and that once we've set aside the obvious biggies like war, famine, plague, opera music, and green beans, everyone's list is pretty idiosyncratic. I've never been too silent about the contents of mine (it's on Facebook!), but for once, I'm not going to rehash the whole thing here. (Basically, it begins and ends with Josh Groban. And peaches. Man, I hate peaches.)

But now that I'm an adult, I think it's time to add another item to the list: adult acne. Of all the cruel jokes the universe plays on us daily, I think adult acne is one of the cruelest. I mean, nothing screams "AWKWARD ADOLESCENT" like a big honking zit, and yet here I am: possibly still awkward but no longer an adolescent, and here is my skin, a minefield of past, present, and future Big Honking Zits.

I am doing everything in my power to act like an adult. I go to church every Sunday. I balance my checkbook. I pay taxes. (Well, sorta.) I show up to work on time and I don't wear sweatpants to class. I even take a multivitamin! Personally, I am pretty impressed with myself. But my sebaceous glands, it seems, are not.

According to Wikipedia (warning: mildly icky pictures), "studies" have potentially linked acne to consuming lots of milk/cheese/etc and also to diets high in refined sugars. Also, French fries. So basically, if I were to eliminate those foods from my diet, along with all the foods I don't eat already, I would be left eating...um, nothing. I've always wanted to try the Hollywood Socialite diet!

Honestly?

I think I'll keep throwing my money at Clinique and Olay. Ain't nothing comes between me and my French fries.