I love my space heater more than I love the planet

Singing along to: U2*, October

Before I start, I'd like to make a public service announcement: For the love of all that is holy, people, stop using "green" as a verb! (i.e., "As a company, we are committed to greening our manufacturing process..." or "This year we'd like to invest in the further greening of our home..." Just typing those sentences makes me feel syntactically dirty.)

Despite the atrocities language that it has engendered, however, the "green"** movement has some pluses that have nothing to do with your feelings about global warming. I think we can all agree that clean water is super, and that trash littering the highway is less super. Recycling is both rad and easy and the rainforest is kind of gorgeous. Whales are neat, and so is the money you save with energy-efficient lightbulbs or whatever. (Especially since no matter what Ben Bernake says about the recession, nobody has any money. Especially underemployed recent college graduates with liberal arts degrees.)

So I do what I can. I try to bring reusable tote bags to the grocery store and the mall, I turn off the lights when I leave the room, I use rags instead of paper towels for house cleaning. Sometimes I even remember to unplug my cell phone charger when it's not in use. I lived in the only trailer on campus that recycled, although we had to lug our recycling halfway across campus to do it.

But there are some things I am not willing to compromise. Like the space heater in my bathroom. I use that sucker year round, because people, bathrooms are cold. All that gleaming glass and tile is frigid, and this is one place where your grandmother's scolding advice to "just put on a sweater" does not apply. I hate being cold. I especially hate being cold and wet, which is why that little space heater and I are best friends. We have had it for as long as I can remember, which means it is probably about as energy efficient as your average tank.

I don't care. It keeps me warm.

(It also keeps the mirror from fogging up, because oh yeah, I also like hot showers. Oops.)

Sorry, Al Gore.

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*Did I just see U2 in concert on Tuesday night? YES. YES I DID.

**or "hippie" or "crunchy granola" or "tree hugger" or "this whole global warming thing is just a hoax perpetuated by Al Gore to get a Nobel prize" or whatever your preferred adjective is