Some things feel exactly the way they should

In my last post I mentioned--ever so casually--that I found a wedding dress.

So casual! Tra-la-la! Just a day in the life!

But DUDES.

I found a WEDDING DRESS. To wear at my WEDDING. The wedding at which I will GET MARRIED.

I KNOW, RIGHT?

Okay, enough with the caps lock. But still: wow. It was kind of a moment, and I was not expecting it to be. There are a lot of things in our lives that are supposed to be "moments," and in my experience, most of them aren't. That's fine. I don't think my life is emptier for it. I don't expect them, they don't happen, and yet I manage to make good and fulfilling decisions, decisions I am very happy with. I picked my college and my major and my apartment and a lot of other things without having any "moments." I kind of expected a wedding dress to be like that too.

I'd already tried on a number of dresses in a couple stores when I found mine, and I was already ranking them in my head: yes, no, maybe. My feelings about most of them could be summarized thusly: if someone handed me that dress and told me that's what I was wearing, it would be just fine. I'd look good, and I'd be happy. There were a few more that were definitely "me"--my biggest criteria was that I didn't want a generic strapless ballgown, or any kind of ballgown, for that matter--but for the most part I was feeling very methodical about the whole thing.

And then I tried on my dress. I got a weird fluttery feeling as it settled over my shoulders. The glimpse of myself that I caught in the mirror as the saleslady zipped it up* was something different altogether.

"Wow," I said, as I looked at my reflection. ("Wow," I said again, when I looked at the price tag.)

Then I walked out of the dressing room, and my mother cried and my aunt cried, and I kid you not, other women's mothers cried, and even I had to blink back a few, and that was that.

So I had a moment. And now I have a dress. Isn't that something else?

(We also have--in no particular order--a photographer, a chapel, a reception site, a bridal party, a florist, and a mock-up of an invitation design. We do not have a priest or a caterer. It's a work in progress.)

--

*This dress, I am pretty sure I will be able to put on all by myself on the big day, which is a relief. I will also be able to use the bathroom all by myself on the big day, which is an even bigger relief. I don't think it's really blog appropriate, but I'll go ahead and say it anyway: I am almost positive I would not be able to pee with someone else present. It was kind of weird, having someone help me get dressed. I had to remember to shave my legs before the shopping trips, and wear presentable underwear. It was a burden.

Singing along to: Iron & Wine, Upwards Over the Mountain