Tuesday, February 08, 2011

I get the greatest phone calls

My phone rings. It's Comcast.

Me: Miss OJ.

Comcast rep (CR): May I speak to Mr. or Mrs. OJ?

Me: Um. There is no Mr. OJ. But I'm Miss OJ.

CR: Oh, I am so sorry for your loss.

Me: Um. I'm single. I was never married.

CR: Oh, I can understand that. I'm quite happy just me and my cat!

Me: Um.

CR goes on to describe some super-expensive Comcast plan that would somehow mysteriously save me money. I decline, citing budgetary constraints. She goes on to assure me that it's a great deal and also something about how her cell phone service is so bad that she can never make calls or receive calls at her daughter's house so I should totally add a landline. I decline, and resist the urge to sell her on AT&T.

**
I'm at work. The phone rings.

"Miss OJ," I say.

"Hi... Is this the Justice Department?" says the caller.

"No. This is [a totally different and completely unrelated agency]."

"Oh... You don't happen to have a directory for the Justice Department, do you?"

Your taxpayer dollars are at work, sir, but they're not working that hard.

**


Singing along to: Cat Stevens, Morning Has Broken. I want to walk down the aisle to this song. Luckily, it is actually a legit Church hymn, so I can do that.

2 comments:

Chunky Knubby Navel said...

Haha! Reading about that comcast call made me laugh out loud. That's fantastic!

Whitney

Claire said...

It was the comment about having a cat that put me over the edge.

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